cuatro. Posessiveness
This is exactly Christian’s effect as he finds out one Anastasia is planning to go to their mother into the Georgia, but don’t tell him. The guy expresses jealousy whenever she speaks together with other males, so when currently discussed, is extremely handling. He feedback Anastasia while the assets, usually making reference to their being “his” and you will saying things such as “if perhaps you were exploit.”
Possessiveness is another kind of control. Religious tries to hold onto Anastasia and sustain the woman the so you can himself as a means from managing their and you can staying her under their fuel.
Lie: It’s perfect when someone requires your fall into her or him and cannot would like you to invest date having others otherwise go everywhere without them.
Truth: True love offers freedom. That you do not get into someone, along with the authority to remain or to get-off. And you can envy is not a sign of love; it’s a sign of possessiveness.
5. Narcissism
In her publication The fresh new Pushy Child, Dorothy McCoy represent variations from abusive characters. Considering their meanings, Religious Grey try a beneficial narcissist.
“When you are during the a relationship that have [a good narcissist],” she writes, “you’re off nothing pros inside the lives except that taking his supply of desire.”
“Narcissists shall be practical in the accruing capital and you will building empires” – since the seen in Christian’s economic achievements – “but has tense, fragmented private relationships. As the [n]arcissists use up all your empathy, capable merely conceive from intimacy just like the a conceptual style.”
She contributes, “Narcissists real time inside confines of their egocentric business; almost every other humans function as props on the [n]arcissist’s efficiency.”
Plenty of the is visible in the Religious Gray in terms off their arrogance, prevention out of intimacy (note: Anastasia actually allowed to touching your), and you can approach to sex.
In one single such as for example, whenever Anastasia seeks getting him to open and you will keep in touch with her, the guy closes off and you aplicaciones de citas grupo por edad will responds, “Fulfill me personally from the playroom inside the fifteen minutes.”
Truth: Real love involves intimacy. Sure, many people be much more “touchy feely” than the others, however for a link to be healthy, a couple of has to express its thoughts and become available to connect into a much deeper psychological height.
six. Bringing versus Offering
This indicates in itself regarding relationships one another mentally (where Anastasia opens up by herself to closeness, but Christian cannot reciprocate) and you may actually (the intimate dating is approximately Christian’s needs and desires).
Christian actually rejects Anastasia’s desire to go on times and you will sleep in the same space (she rests upstairs inside her room whenever you are his room is actually downstairs).
Once the an effective “compromise,” Religious believes to a single go out per week and another nights an effective times sleep in identical sleep. Although not, talking about one another intimate parts of a romance, and you will because the Anastasia beliefs intimacy, and you will Religious can offer it just while the a duty, that is however perhaps not an indication of a very shared relationships.
Lie: Your ex lover does not have any so you’re able to love your own opinions and requires; whenever they “comply” by providing in the sporadically, you need to know on your own lucky.
Truth: Your deserve as appreciated and become with an individual who satisfies your position and it has similar viewpoints. A single-sided relationships is not like.
7. Not enough Concur
Christian reveals no admiration getting consent as well as gets resentful in the event that Anastasia denies their demands otherwise enhances. As well, he’s always coercing the woman to your doing things she first was awkward doing of the inquiring several times, convincing, and even getting disturb together.
8. Stalking
This seems apparent, but I believe sometimes i make the mistake away from enjoying an effective stalker as well narrowly: anybody crouching in the bushes, wear black, peering via your bed room windows.
